As a long time animal lover, I was sh*t out of luck growing up. We moved frequently, my mom was scared of dogs, and my dad was allergic to cats.

“As soon as I have money, I’m getting a cat” I would say to myself every time I unsuccessfully pitched to my parents about how a pet would significantly help with my grades.

Time flew by, and before I knew it, I was paying my own bills and ready for my first pet. But I froze.

“Am I really ready to be responsible for another life?”

“I work full time and sometimes travel, what will the poor kitty do when I’m not home? Will it get lonely?”

Spring 2012, I decided that maybe it was time for me to really adopt a pet. I drove to the local shelter to “browse”.

Dear lord, one does not simply browse at an animal shelter.

That day I went home with my first cat, Kuma – also known as His Majesty King Grumpy of McFabulouslyFluffyTummy Land.

My experience with my first pet was tough. King Grumpy was emotionally needy, easily bored, and critical of all my attempts to amuse him. Fetch again? But we did that yesterday!! MEOW!!! Laser pointer? That’s so last week. MEOW!!!! It’s 5 AM, where’s my new food? MEOWW!!!

I decided to start a blog in this adorably self-centered, grumpy kitty’s POV detailing my attempts to amuse him. So here we go! Kuma Not Impressed — a tell-it-like-it-is pet product review by a seasoned grumpy kitty.

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Kuma, his first day at home