This is Kuma. The human has been regrettably putting off her blogging duties. She cites poor excuses such as “but I’m working so hard on your instagram already!” or “I am traveling all the time” or “the job has been stressing me out”. My favorite has got to be “I have my personal life too!” Silly human, your number one priority is Kuma. Your number two priority is Kuma. Your number three priority is ensuring a steady food and catnip supply for Kuma. The good news is that I have communicated my displeasure, and she will be back on blogging duties now.
Today I want to talk about cuddles, specifically cuddles non grata. The human, since day one, has been committing human-on-kitty cuddle crimes on the daily, and I have documented her atrocities.
The phantom cuddle
This usually comes with the human making weird swooshing sounds while bouncing me around. I don’t get it.
The hold too tight
Too much body heat! Too much love! Too close! Offffff!
Yes, this comes with the human singing any various tunes from the Lion King.
She really likes her Simba cuddle.
The nap disturber
Human, you shall not disturb my slumber. I was blissfully asleep 5 seconds ago.
Did I say face too close?
Complete disregard for my struggles.
I said that’s enough love!
Thank goodness I am a skilled escape artist. The human had it coming. I guess I have to work on a proper cuddle guideline for her now…
When will my sufferings end? #trainyourhuman