Cuddles non grata pt 2

Dear readers,

It frustrates me deeply that I have enough incriminating photos to even write a part 2 to the cuddles non grata series. I may even have enough for a part 3! Kuma is not pleased.

This human appeared out of nowhere. In the beginning, he respected my personal space, but the situation soon spiralled out of control…

It all started with an innocent photobomb

Just me and my majestic self, nothing to see. I am so much more handsome this doesn’t bother me one bit.

Then silly photobomb shenanigans escalated…


Look at me. Sometimes I just look in the mirror and ask myself “how can I be this pretty?” Wouldn’t you agree? Hey! Eyes back on me! Yes yes, the shirt is off, no one cares. Go away.

Then… The cuddles began

Dear diary, I can no longer pretend that the pesky, self-absorbed, photobombing human doesn’t exist anymore. I fear my humans are too stupid to understand the concept of personal space.

The cuddles quickly got out of hand.


Human. I am not a prop for your desperate attempts at gathering attention from the ladies. Unhand me now.

Is there no end to my suffering?

Send help please,
Kuma

Kuma’s Quest for Love Part 1

With cooler weather fast approaching, I’m very alarmed that the human has yet to pull out my heated cat throne. I must take it upon myself to seek a suitable cuddle buddy to get through the colder months. NO. Not the human. I’m thinking more of a… lovely lady companion. I am a firm believer in my own charms and dashing good looks, I should have no trouble recruiting a good looking lady friend. All I need is a perfect dating profile pic, some great pick up lines, and wait for my conquests to fall on my lap. Good thing I’ve been plotting all year long for this moment. So today we will proceed with step 1: Picking a suitable dating profile picture. We can go with a pretty standard, good looking head shot like this:


Or perhaps with a bit more seductive? Does a “hey darling, I CHOOSE YOU to come hither’ look work?”

Or this picture? I believe this just screams: CUDDLES


Hmm… I don’t want to come across as a pushover though. I need this picture too to show my feist. Pow pow!

I look dashing in a scarf. So what are you waiting for ladies? Come get cozy with don Kuma.


~Kuma, looking for love


 

Lori’s note:
Kuma can’t see the perfect candidate is right in front of him 😉

Kuma, travel dreams

Dear readers,
Today I want to talk about the humans frequent travel habits. It always start with the bag. The cursed bag.


Once the bag is out, she’ll go off into the abyss and disappear for what seems like an eternity. I fear she may one day just never return. (see blog post: Kuma Home Alone)
At first I was very concerned. I would stand guard waiting for her return.


After awhile, I get used to the idea of human being gone once in awhile. I become curious. Where does the human go without me? All the pictures of the ocean, the exotic buildings, exotic fish (mmmm), and strange animals has me yearning to explore the outside world. I need to an action plan…

Scheme 1: Remind the human what she’s missing on her way out


Who would want to part with this cute face? Surely she’ll bring me with her now.

Scheme 2: Pack myself in the bag


I am so sneaky. The human will bring me on her trip without noticing for sure. I would have gotten with this genius plan too if not for pesky Hana!


Go away Hana! Maybe I need to lock her up before trying this plot again.

Attempt 3: Demand my right loudly

Hello human, I believe I have earned a well deserved vacation to Tahiti. I am all packed! Human? Ticket please. Beach and tuna-tinis await.


The human is either deaf or stupid. None of schemes have worked so far. Maybe it’s time to upgrade to a better human?

~Kuma

Behind the Scenes at Kuma not Impressed

Dear readers,

You get a special treat! I, Lord Kuma, has decided to take you to a behind the scenes tour of the Kuma blog’s work flow.

Step 1: Demand pets to draw the human’s attention to me

The human is regrettably very forgetful. She often ends up doing her own work rather than focusing on her one true priority — me. I must remind her of her blogging duties constantly.

Step 2: Bring the human to the work station

The key is to keep a watchful eye on the human. The subtle pressure of my commanding presence should keep the human nice and productive.

Step 3: Work hard with the human

This is starting to get dry

Step 4: Take a well deserved break

“Human, learn to type with one hand will ya? Kuma can’t pet himself. Attend to me, now.”

Step 5: Aww yesss

Step 6: Take a well deserved nap

All the lording and petting sure takes a toll on my energy. My life is so hard. Human, go take care of the rest of the blog post okay?

~Kuma, demanding and unforgiving


Lori’s note: It could be difficult coming up with funnies for the Kuma blog weekly. Kuma does not help productivity at all.