Cuddles non grata (Kuma the blog returns from hiatus!)

Dear readers,

This is Kuma. The human has been regrettably putting off her blogging duties. She cites poor excuses such as “but I’m working so hard on your instagram already!” or “I am traveling all the time” or “the job has been stressing me out”. My favorite has got to be “I have my personal life too!” Silly human, your number one priority is Kuma. Your number two priority is Kuma. Your number three priority is ensuring a steady food and catnip supply for Kuma. The good news is that I have communicated my displeasure, and she will be back on blogging duties now.

Today I want to talk about cuddles, specifically cuddles non grata. The human, since day one, has been committing human-on-kitty cuddle crimes on the daily, and I have documented her atrocities.

The phantom cuddle

This usually comes with the human making weird swooshing sounds while bouncing me around. I don’t get it.

The face-too-close

Kill me.

The hold too tight

Too much body heat! Too much love! Too close! Offffff!

“Simba-ing”

Yes, this comes with the human singing any various tunes from the Lion King.

She really likes her Simba cuddle.

The nap disturber

Human, you shall not disturb my slumber. I was blissfully asleep 5 seconds ago.

Did I say face too close?

Complete disregard for my struggles.

I said that’s enough love!

Thank goodness I am a skilled escape artist. The human had it coming. I guess I have to work on a proper cuddle guideline for her now…

When will my sufferings end? #trainyourhuman

Kuma, over-sized and over-loved, very much unimpressed.

Game of Thrones ~ Kuma Edition

I have a throne. It is a lovely throne. It is quiet. The temperature is always just right. Most importantly, it is the perfect spot to look down and judge the human and my other minions. It is also where I muse about life and come up with the blog posts.

What is the meaning of life?

Then one day, BAM.

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Hanabi I hope you know this is war. Buahaha take that. I will claim what has always been rightfully mine!

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That’s right. Now scram!

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And don’t even think about coming back.

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The human decides that it’s not very “nice” of me to claim the throne back, and yells at me. Hana, emboldened by the misguided human, went back on my throne when I wasn’t looking.

Now she’s taunting me and my inferior spot.

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This must truly be hell.

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Lori’s note:

My cats, like most cats, are creepers. They HAVE to be in the bathroom and watch my every move while I shower. I have up and put some old towels and cushions on my mostly empty rack so they can get comfy while being creepers. I started noticing this strange power struggle they have going on there fighting for the top spot. Whoever ends up in the lower tier always look super miserable.

Hanabi Guest Post: A great gift from grandma

Meow! This is Hanabi. I’m taking over while Kuma is out of commission from the cold.

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Look at that lazy bum, hiding at his favorite winter spot. On the heat pad. In front of the heater. Ew.

Mommy left us for what seemed like an eternity. We thought she was dead. But then she came back!

She brought back a box. She says it’s a gift from grandma.

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I have no idea what it is…

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Meow?

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Kuma! MOVE! I can’t see it anymore…

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The monster pours out water!

MMMM yummy yummy water. Thank you grandma! Meow!

Love,

Hana

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Kuma: HANAAA HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY BLOG??? ROAR! FEEL MY WRATH!

 


 

Lori’s Note:

Both of my cats have issues with not drinking enough water and being extremely picky with water quality. This is so crucial for cat health; every owner should be conscious of their cats’ drinking habits.

So I went back home to Taiwan for the holidays. We noticed this water fountain at a local pet boutique there, and my mommy got it for me. This is made by GEX, a Japanese brand. It’s a very simple but extremely effective water fountain. It is very quiet, which already completely beats out my old one (will write about it slightly later). The water passes through a replaceable carbon filter (Rakuten Store Filter Replacement), so you can make sure your furbabies have the best water possible at all time. Best of all, my kitties started using it right away!

Here is a Great Info Page! So you can learn more about this great product. Non Asia based customers can get this at Rakuten or ALI Express Shop.

Kuma’s Writer’s Block

Kuma writer’s block

*sigh* The great Kuma unfortunately also suffers from mortal plights. Truth be told… I have been going through some serious winter blues. And therefore writer’s block.

I just napped in front of the laptop for hours! And no words. Nada. I must figure out a way to pull myself out of this.

I mused about life atop my throne. Nada.

What is the meaning of life?

I emptied my bowels. I heard ridding your body of poison clears the mind. Nada.

Going poo poo like a boxx

I tried on other people’s shoes for inspiration. Nada.

Trying on other’s shoes

What if I can never write again?

Spoiled kitty


 

Lori’s note:

Kuma sometimes gets moody and muses about life. Rest assured he’s already writing again, and more posts are coming soon!

Also. Doesn’t he just have the most boss-like expression when pooping?